“Everyone has a teacher called suffering.” – Eckhart Tolle

When our lives are a mess it's common to look around for someone to blame.  We tend to ask:  How did this happen to me? How did I become an addict?  How did I lose all the money?  Why did he leave?  Why am I sick?  Why am I being evicted?  How did this business deal get so messed up?   How did this affair happen?  How did it get so out of control?  Why am I so alone?  In other words, Who let the dogs out and made such a mess of things?  The answer, fortunately or unfortunately, is you did. 

There’s an old joke that goes, if you ask someone if they masturbate there are two kinds of people who answer— those that say yes, and those that lie.   The same is usually true about asking someone if they want to be rich—there are those that do, and those that lie. When we think about it, why wouldn’t someone want access to unlimited resources to be able to make their life and the lives of many others better? Why would we not want abundance for ourselves and to share with the world? Why would we not want to be rich?  

When we talk about the "sexual arousal template,” we are referring to what Patrick Carnes, an expert on sexuality calls, “the total constellation of thoughts, images, behaviors, sounds, smells, sights, fantasies, and objects that arouse us sexually.”  

“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters….Most do not fully see this truth that life is difficult. Instead they moan more or less incessantly, nosily or subtly, about the enormity of their problems, their burdens, or their difficulties as if life were generally easy, as if life should be easy….Life is a series of problems.  Do we want to moan about them or solve them?”  

When we don’t give the Lover Archetype the positive channel it craves, the Lover does not go away, it goes “Shadow.”  The Shadow Lover is also interested in creating, but it creates from a negative, self-destructive place.  The Shadow Lover saturates our sensuality from an over indulgent and even dangerous place.

We also have what Carl Jung called a shadow self or shadow "wolf".  This is a part of ourselves that actually wants us to be in trouble. 

MINDFULNESS IS THE ABILITY TO WATCH YOUR OWN MIND WITHOUT BEING CARRIED AWAY BY IT.  "WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT THAT?" -  YOU MIGHT ASK.  WELL, KIND OF EVERYTHING.

PROCRASTINATION CAN DESTROY YOUR LIFE.  WE PROCRASTINATE TO AVOID THE IMAGINED PAIN OF WHAT IT WILL TAKE TO DO THE THING WE NEED TO DO TO MOVE FORWARD.

There is no way to have genuine, consistent compassion for others if you don't have genuine, consistent compassion for yourself. Most of us have a very strong "inner critic." Find how to soothe the inner critic and increase a sense of well being and self-love through with the 3 primary tools of Self-Compassion:   Mindfulness, Common Humanity, and Self-Kindness.